Michael Fabricant's outrageous proposal to Dean of Lichfield Cathedral

Revelling in the attention following his brief stint on daft as a brush Tory veteran now plans to make his presence well and truly felt in his old constituency of Lichfield.

The ex-MP, who lost his Staffordshire seat by just 810 votes last July, proposes to lead a "naked charity bike ride" through the city. Adamant in recent days that his trademark blond thatch is "more complicated" than the wig widely presumed, 74-year-old Fabricant is urging an understandably reluctant Dean of Lichfield Cathedral, Jan McFarlane, to join him. He cheekily announces: "Jan, you can do it. You can hide your modesty with your cross!"

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Succession star and famous Dundee native Brian Cox publicly backs Scottish Premiership strugglers Dundee FC's proposed stadium move to Camperdown Park, dramatically announcing in a new promotional video: "Time stands still for no one, Eden waits."

Quoting Sir Water Scott's poem Bonnie Dundee, the thespian then roars: "Come open your gates, and let me gae free!" Stirring stuff, indeed; though presumably best we forget Mr Cox actually supports Manchester United?

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Soon cashing in with yet another book on her life and times, the third in four years, vulgarian promises an effort "packed with wit, wisdom and unfiltered stories".

While she's quite possibly scraping the barrel, having already bombarded us with endless such tales in recent years (loathing for John Cleese among regular themes), expect fawning telly hosts to feign obligatory shock and horror when potty-mouthed Miriam's back on the publicity trail this summer.

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Having officially axed The Who's drummer this week - the son of Sir Ringo Starr had been a band member for almost three decades - singer mission to produce a movie about the group's original man at the drum kit Keith Moon continues to drag on after 20 years.

While films about rock and roll legends presently remain all the rage, there's still no star name officially attached to the lead role of wild man Keith, who died in 1978. Film industry folk whisper the hellraiser's life story might prove one rock biopic too many...

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Next due to be seen on Channel 5 travelling across Venezuela, globetrotter cheerfully told fans this week: "It's the 100th country I've visited...before I get too smug, there are another 95 left."

Though Michael's prone to suggest on-screen travel days are drawing to a close, I'm assured TV execs are open to the sprightly 81-year-old ticking off a couple more destinations yet.

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Former Doctor Who actor , belatedly wishes it to be known he was "delighted and thrilled" to be handed the once popular "Rear of The Year" prize 20 years ago - clarifying he was then discreetly stripped of the title when declining to take part in the obligatory photoshoot "exhibiting said rear in a pair of jeans".

Humbling news, no doubt, for 2005's subsequent recipient, pop star Will Young.