Navigating a breakup? Here are 6 things that are completely normal

We can all agree that breakups suck. No matter if it ended with a terrible fight or a slow withdrawal, when a relationship ends it can feel like a complete emotional rollercoaster. One moment you are fine, and the next you are tearing up into your hoodie watching TikToks about healing. But don't fret, a lot of how you are feeling is completely justified — even if it feels totally chaotic at the moment. Here we break down 6 things that are totally valid when you are newly broken up with:

Emotional ups and downs

It's completely normal to feel calm one moment and devastated the next. This is simply your body reacting to the emotional draw down. When we were 'in love' our brain was releasing dopamine and oxytocin, chemicals that feel good. After the end of a relationship, the abrupt drop happens like a rollercoaster and can take weeks and even months to settle down. 

Curling up and checking their social feeds  

You'll have the urge to check what they are doing — even if reconnecting isn't your goal. This is out of habit, or just a mix of curiosity or residual feelings. But studies show that using social media as a way to keep in contact or stay connected can slow your healing down. In fact, if you can limit your contact or mute their profile that can help develop emotional health.  

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Second-guessing your decision or longing for what you had

It is human nature to be much better at recalling the good than the bad - this is called 'rosy retrospection.’ That doesn't mean that you made the wrong choice; it only reflects the brain's preference to save you from discomfort.

Physical symptoms like exhaustion or loss of appetite

Heartbreak affects the body, too. Take heart — cortisol (the stress hormone) levels are on the rise! This can affect your sleep, your energy, or your appetite. These are temporary and real reactions — and now is the time for self-care and rest.

Feeling like you are going backwards

Healing is not linear. One week where you are doing well can be followed by some kind of crash. It is still progressing. The emotional process takes time, and the brain often processes these events in waves. 

Feeling like you are going backwards (Credit: Freepik)

Comparing your healing to someone else's healing

If your ex is moving on, faster than you, that is important to remember: people grieve, and deal with breakups differently. External behaviour is rarely indicative of internal experience. Focus on your own timeline. Realising that these are your responses can help alleviate some overwhelm with the situation — and remind you that what you are going through is human, is valid, and is part of the healing process.

Dealing with heartbreak is difficult, but you are not alone, and you are not broken. Give yourself grace, patience, and time. Healing is not bouncing back. Healing is slowly becoming whole again, one step at a time. You will get there.